April 2010
35 posts
Old dialysis. GRRR
Today is not a great day. It had potential, but turned out not to be so great.
Yes the sun is out, meaning summer outfits are able to be worn, but to my disappointment my dialysis unit was to full so i was put in the old unit! WHY OH WHY MEEE!!!!! ha ha ok i am being a bit dramatic, but to say the least is it somewhat depressing and ugly. NO WINDOWS for starters. some dull grey lighting. and...
Smile because you can…
“Enjoying life, while you are living and loving others.”
– ME.
Today.
Love
Life
Living
Today, i will take a breath and enjoy.
Enjoying the fresh air.. BREATH!
One month on the line.
This week marks the start of my second month on dialysis. WOW. Its really odd for me to be sitting here, hooked up to dialysis, and knowing a month has passed. While i am hooked up on dialysis it feels like hours are years. AND NOW a month has passed in a second. I must add that this has also giving me a big reality check. I have been once month on dialysis, once month living off a machine, one...
HAPPY MULTI ORGAN AND TISSUE DONATION WEEK!!!!
This week is Multi Organ and Tissue Donation Awarness week!!! WOOT !
I WAS A STALKER ALL WEEK! yes i know it sound odd but the story goes as follows. TGH hospital has a GREEN FILLED booth set up promoting Multi Organ and Tissue donation! Little did they know that there number one customer would be me! I bought pins, cookies, keychains, pens, and took about a million pamphlets to hand out...
9 YEARS!
On April 19, 2001 - 9 years ago- i received a life saving kidney transplant. It was living donor. MY MOTHER! However today is bitter sweet because it is also the year my kidney failed.
Ironically this week is Multi Organ and Tissue Donation Awareness Week!!! Dont forget to sign your donor cards, and give blood !
Lets celebrate!!
xo MJ
A day like today....
Funny how being around good people and even just in silence makes you feel great sometimes…..
I went with some friends for a “brunch” lunch today and it made me feel great. Mind you it was a “thinking” day. I sat there more silent then ever before, listening thinking and enjoying. Days like today make me be thankful i am alive and able to enjoy them. Yes i am on...
Third week.
So. Its been 3 weeks. 3 Weeks of dialysis.
This week was hard. I try to just push through and keep smiling and being positive, but i find it so hard sometimes. This week more so then ever.
I want to be normal. WHAT IS NORMAL!? Normal to me would be not having to depend off a machine to keep me alive, not having to take drugs to keep my kidney functioning even if it is at at a 14 percent.
...
Days, weeks, months
The past 2 days seem to be harder then any day has been in a while. Long days. I broke down yesterday, both in frustration and disappointment. I don’t know why i cant stop thinking about the “what if’s” in the world. In my world. I feel like i blinked and began dialysis , and now another blink has passed and i am in my 3rd week. Just under a month. Still wondering what...
“When you sit and watch you learn. When you learn you interact. When you interact...”
Thought.
How does the human body and mind become custom to things so fast?
When a girl cant sleep....
Funny enough after a day of dialysis, you would think i would be able to sleep for years to come. But here i am, middle of the night and unable to shut even one eye. I am left laying, tossing, turning and wondering about tomorrow. From family, to friends, school and work. My mind seems to have endless thoughts. So since i have a space to put them in now, why not type some..or even one up.
...
End of week 2. REALLY!?
First day of Dialysis.
6th day of Dialysis….
6 days sitting in hospital recieving treatment.
4-6 hours each time.
More then 24 hours total.
Half a month!
WOW that went by fast. Can you believe it? I definitely cannot. Ok let me think about this. 2 weeks where my life has depended off a machine. REALLY!? Yes, really. The reason why i keep thinking this over is because this has become...
“Strength to me is not just physical, but emotional, mental and spiritual as...”
– ME!
Mortality.
A few weeks ago i had sat with a friend of mine and ended up in tears when that word came to the table. MORTALITY … he said and i quote ” so the elephant in the room really.. is mortality”. God i hated that he was right. So here i am 3 weeks later and now living off a machine .. it actually clicks. MORTALITY! The fear of dyeing, or of not living? . THE STRENGTH IN SURVIVING!...
“Every moment is an experience.”
– Jake Roberts
“Sleep, is it possible to sleep more hours then i am awake? ….”
“Happy Easter!”
Easter weekend at home..
Update before tomorrow’s vblog.
So i am home! thats the start of this.. for those who dont know, i have been home since wednesday at about 11 pm. Yes 11pm. Its great to be home. Sleep in my own bed, see my little dog, see fam, friends, etc. And SLEEP! LOTS! Anytime, all the time, whenever i can. I come to appreciate sleep. Its a privilege to be able to sleep anytime you like....
SUN SUN SUN!
Home sweet home..
Yes its true, i have been discharged from TGH and am in my bed snug as a bug. Kinda.
So here is a week update.
Friday March 26, 2010 I received a call from my ESRF nurse saying i had to go to emerg and get admitted as my levels of kidney function were higher and that was not a good sign.
Saturday March 27, 2010 the options were put on the table as follow:
A) insert a “central...
